My dad passed away suddenly two weeks ago. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer one week prior and we were still adjusting to that tragic news. He was 61. I never expected my mom to be a widow at 60. Or my boys to lose their grandfather at such young ages. Or Robb and I to be forced to maneuver through life without our dad.
So I haven’t been writing. I’ve been emotionally exhausted – literally, paralyzed by my grief at times. And physically spent. The immediacy at which things need to be done after one passes is overwhelming to say the least. This is the first day I’ve come up for air. Two weeks. Fourteen days. Enough sadness to last a lifetime.
But as I’ve mentioned before, writing is cathartic for me. It brings me peace and clarity and understanding – and I am hoping it will help me get through this very difficult time until the memories aren’t as painful and my reality no longer throbs like an open wound.
I will write about my dad and being forever grateful that I was with him – and he was cognitively present – during his last 12 hours on Earth. I will write about cancer prevention and how our lifestyles are an overwhelming determinant of our long-term health. I will write about foods that bring healing. And time that brings healing. And, most importantly, faith that brings healing – God loves us beyond measure. And how happiness is a choice in the midst of pain and sorrow.
I choose to write. I choose to trust God. I choose to be happy. I choose to honor my dad’s memory in every positive way I possibly can.
Thank you for bearing with me during this very sad time of loss. My family and I have been surrounded by goodness. I will never underestimate the power of a phone call, a text, a card, an offer of help or support – simple things that have meant so very much. While our hearts ache, we will continue to count our blessings and give thanks.