I’ve Got Crabs

I will preface this blog entry with the following disclaimer: This post may not be popular among all of my loyal readers (or Mama Kat’s) because some people love their pets as much as their children.  I get that. Different strokes, different folks.

But I am not an animal person.

wb051295I believe this stems back to my time as a young adult when I took a child I was babysitting to a petting zoo.  We were walking around gently caressing the animals when all of the sudden I felt two strong taps on my shoulders.  I turned around expecting to find a zookeeper.  But to my dismay, I was being mounted by a billy goat.  I kid you not.  MOUNTED BY A BILLY GOAT.  It goes down as my scariest animal encounter to date.  Next to being chased on foot by a Pit Bull, narrowly escaping attack by jumping atop a Toyota Prius.  For reals.  But that’s another story.  Regardless, I’m scarred. There's more…

Cleaning a Dirty House

I have the privilege of seeing what search terms people use to land on my website.  Some poor soul recently searched:  “Cleaning a Dirty House.”  And stumbled upon Eat Clean. Live Dirty.  Obviously, that was a terribly wrong turn.

Speaking of cleaning a dirty house…

Out with the Old

Out with the Old

I mentioned in a previous post that there was a ring around our upstairs toilet base that caused some suspicion.  At first we thought the toilet was leaking.  Then we decided it was simply pee.  From three little Dirty misdirected fire hoses. That kept getting pee’d on.  And eventually resulted in a dark brown circle under the caulk that elbow grease and bleach wouldn’t touch.

Live Dirty. There's more…

Athletic Leaks (or peeing myself during workouts)

Live DirtyI bought these super cute Nike workout pants two years ago.  I wore them to a bootcamp class one time.  The kind of 60-minute hell that combines high impact cardio exercises and weight lifting.  At some point during jumping rope or jumping jacks – possibly both, I peed myself.  To the point that my entire crotch area was torrentially soaked.  And since these are GRAY pants, there was no hiding it.  I spent the next YEAR wearing Columbia Sportswear Run Some More Skort Leggings whenever I did plyometrics – or any activity that made my boobies jiggle in my sports bra. Because that also meant tinkle would trickle down my leg. There's more…

This Ain’t No Pinterest House

We recently had a friend of Abe’s over for the first time. As always in our house, play was loud and lively. They shot indoor basketball and Nerf guns.  They snacked and crumbled.  They took the cushions off the couch to build forts. And later used the cushions as trampolines to dunk the basketball.

When Friend’s mom came to pick Friend up, she seemed mortified to see the aftermath of pillows, blankets, and balls that spanned the floor. I figured this would be second-hat to her. After all, she has boys of her own. But she kept apologizing for the mess. I assured her my house looks like this every day. EVERY DAY. It had nothing to do with her son.  And eventually The Dirties would have their chance to help clean the clutter. There's more…

Recipe: Parmesan Crusted Chicken

Parmesan ChickenWe are planning to go away for a few days and I am doing the cooking now.  This will allow me to spend time having FUN with my family without worrying about “What’s for Dinner?”  And more importantly, I won’t have to drag The Dirties into a nice restaurant only to have them loudly bang silverware on the table as if they’re in a rock band (Ben’s signature move). There's more…

It’s What’s for Dinner

Allowing the twins to play in the spice rack during dinner prep took at bad turn with Cream of Tarter

The spice rack served as the twins’ entertainment during dinner prep. Until the Cream of Tarter Explosion.

I vividly remember when my kids were younger and 4pm to 6pm was the most stressful time of the day.  I was often in the kitchen trying to get dinner prepared and one (or both) of the twins was hanging on my leg – wanting to be held or insisting to help.  Abe was in the family room pulling cushions off the couch to build a fort or launch pad (admittedly, not much has changed there).  I was already tired from a full day with the kids.  And the dinner hour was just another chore to get checked off the list.  It’s hard to believe such an incredibly stressful time early on has turned into one of my favorite times of the day.  It didn’t happen overnight.  It was definitely a gradual change – a slow, organic process. There's more…

No Holding Back

Baby Dirties

Baby Dirties

“Mom, will you hold me while I cuddle on your lap?” asked my seven-year-old.  Sure he was burning with fever and had spent the day on the toilet.  But no words could have melted my heart more than his at that very moment.  I was in the midst of unloading the dishwasher, a never-ending task with three boys.  But I stopped.  We sat in our dirty yellow chair and I cradled him like a baby for fifteen precious, uninterrupted minutes.  As I watched him, I remembered a dear friend with a grown daughter telling me that even now, she watches her daughter in amazement, unable to believe she created someone so beautiful and so perfect. There's more…

Recipe: No-Bake Coconut Cream Cookies

No Bake Coconut Cream CookiesLet me start by saying I love coconut.  LOVE coconut.  So much so that I’d put the lime in the coconut and drink them both up.  Fresh from Hawaii, these easy, decadent no-bake cookies take me right back to the island.  Not really, but one can pretend…

My friend Brook brought a version of these to a recent dinner party and EVERYONE raved over them.  They’re rich, creamy, and provide the perfect balance of salty and sweet. There's more…

Sunny Side Up

Sunny Side Up

Poolside. Prime Time Swimming Hours. Only a few folks braved the clouds and cool temperatures.

Dave and I are in Hawaii this week pre-celebrating our ten year anniversary. You know, beautifully warm and sunny Hawaii? “Pre” scheduled as a great escape from the Portland winter rain. But when our plane landed in Kona yesterday, it was raining buckets. Sideways. According to the forecast, it was supposed to clear up today by noon. But as I sit poolside in my cargo pants and sweater, I’m quite certain the sun is not going to shine today. Maybe tomorrow. Definitely by the time we leave on Friday*. There's more…

Recipe: Bacon-Wrapped Sweet Potatoes

Bacon Wrapped1Because everything is better with bacon…

My friend Molly brought these Bacon-Wrapped Sweet Potatoes to a MOPS meeting in the fall.  I’ve been making them ever since.  They’re easy and perfectly sized for appetizers – no utensils required.  They are a savory combination of salty and sweet.  The bottoms of the sweet potatoes caramelize, the bacon crisps.  And the final result is a perfectly cooked, wonderfully seasoned, pop-in-your-mouth pleasure.  No one can eat just one! There's more…