These Are the Discussions You Should Avoid at the Thanksgiving Dinner Table

Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and with it should come feelings of gratitude and joy. However, this isn't always the case. Sometimes, spending time with family instead brings up conflict, stress, and anxiety. We have all been around that one person who doesn't know how to navigate social situations very well. Whether that's your great aunt Sally, who keeps commenting on your weight, or the cousin who can't fathom your lifestyle choices. The truth is, almost everyone wants to enjoy their Thanksgiving dinner with family; it's a matter of figuring out what topics are simply none of your business. To prepare for the upcoming holiday and set yourself and your family up for a peaceful day, these are the discussions you should avoid at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Let's go ahead and get this one out of the way right out of the gate. Politics is the topic that has been universally labeled as the one to avoid. It used to be that you would have your political values and opinions but keep them to yourself. This was to avoid any conflict with those who didn't necessarily agree with you.

If recent years have shown us anything, political discussions tend to become very heated. Avoiding the topic is best if you want a peaceful dinner. Now, if you want to create havoc and make a person's head explode, discussing politics is the way to do it. But who really wants that at Thanksgiving?

Since Thanksgiving is a holiday with food at center stage, the topic of food is going to come up. It may be easy to notice that your cousin has had three servings of pie or that your niece is choosing not to eat very much. Yet, noticing and saying something are two different things.

Seeing someone's food choices is one thing. Understanding why they are eating the way they are is something entirely different. We have no idea of the stresses someone has in their life, not to mention habits, allergies, sensitivities, and so much more. Most people know their food choices and why they are making them. It's best to stick to paying attention to your own.

Weight goes along with food choices. But like food choices, weight is something personal. It fluctuates and is determined by more than one factor.

Sure, maybe your sister gained 20 pounds over the last year. Chances are, she already knows this fact. She doesn't need you bringing it up, especially during a holiday focused on eating. A general rule of thumb is that if you wouldn't want someone mentioning it to you, then chances are you shouldn't say it to them.

Money is a topic generally avoided by people with tact unless someone is discussing it in confidence. However, sometimes, you have that one person who wants to brag about how much money they make. Or the one who can't understand why you would leave your high-paying job for something that pays 20 thousand less a year. Of course, they won't keep these thoughts to themselves, they want to bring it up.

Finances are a part of daily life. Many people may be stressed out by their financial responsibility, the burden of having a lack of money, or stressed because they owe someone a lot of it. To discuss it around the company, especially if that company is not involved, can strike anxiety in a person's heart. They don't necessarily want everyone to know about their financial situation. So, if you are the one who lent money to a relative, and you are wondering when you will get it back, talk to them in private.

Religion is the second topic that most people have learned to avoid at Thanksgiving. Yet, sometimes, people bypass common etiquette and decide to bring it anyway.

Someone's faith, or lack of it, is a personal choice. No one wants to feel pressured into a particular religion, especially if they haven't explored their faith independently. So, the general rule of etiquette is only to bring up your religion or lack of religion if someone is generally curious and asks you about it. (Be sure this person isn't just baiting you though.)

Most parents have experienced unsolicited advice at one time or another. It can be annoying, especially when it is given in front of a large group of people. Bringing up someone's parenting choices at the dinner table is a recipe for disaster.

Maybe you don't agree with how your sister parents her kids. Those choices, however, are hers and her spouses', not yours. There's no way to be a perfect parent and millions of ways to be a good one. If their choices don't align with yours, that doesn't mean they are wrong.

It's hard to live without some kind of family conflict. However, if you are fighting with your cousin or sibling, it's best to keep that to yourself at the dinner table.

You are doing two things if you bring up a current (or even past) family conflict at the dinner table. One, you are opening up someone's business to others who may not know about it. Two, sharing a family conflict can put others not involved in a very awkward position.

Like most things in life, relationships are a personal choice. There's no need to ask why your aunt has remarried for the third time. Additionally, your niece, who is 26, doesn't need you asking why she isn't married yet.

Everyone has an opinion about relationships. However, we make our own choices; we can't make the choices for other people. Whether or not someone is in a relationship is not any of your business. Additionally, who they are in a relationship with is also their own choice, even if it goes against your belief system. (Of course, if someone is in a relationship hurting them, that is something you can and should bring up, just don't do it at the dinner table.)

Going along with relationships and topics of children, unless positive, should also be avoided.

To put it bluntly, you don't need to ask why someone doesn't have any children, even if you find yourself curious beyond belief. They may be dealing with something you are unaware of or decided not to have any. On the flip side, if you see that your cousin is pregnant with her seventh child, the best thing you can say is congratulations. Trust me, she knows how it happens; there's no need to ask.

Thanksgiving is a holiday focused on food, so topics of food, of course, will come up. However, if you don't like a person's food and still want a peaceful dinner, keep that comment to yourself.

Thanksgiving is fun, but it's a lot of work for the person in the kitchen! Your appreciation for their time and effort is all that is needed. They don't need to hear how you can't stand stuffing or that your mom's turkey is better. Just say thank you and move on.