I have the privilege of seeing what search terms people use to land on my website. Some poor soul recently searched: “Cleaning a Dirty House.” And stumbled upon Eat Clean. Live Dirty. Obviously, that was a terribly wrong turn.
Speaking of cleaning a dirty house…
I mentioned in a previous post that there was a ring around our upstairs toilet base that caused some suspicion. At first we thought the toilet was leaking. Then we decided it was simply pee. From three little Dirty misdirected fire hoses. That kept getting pee’d on. And eventually resulted in a dark brown circle under the caulk that elbow grease and bleach wouldn’t touch.
Our solution? Remove the old toilet and urine-soaked marmoleum. Buy a new toilet with a base wide enough to cover the old marmoleum (we didn’t want to replace the entire flooring). The problem? Finding a cheap toilet (cheap being the key word) with a base wide enough to cover up yet another Dirty-inspired mess.
In comes the HAAN HS-20R Handheld Steam Cleaner (insert theme song from Greatest American Hero). I originally bought this because it was featured in one of my health and beauty magazines as an easy solution to quickly steam clothes. After reading the reviews, I sold Dave on the fact that we could also use it to steam clean our yellow chair as well. It worked beautifully for both. But I eventually gave up on steam cleaning the chair. Couldn’t keep up with production.
Last week, I used the concentrator nozzle accessory to steam my way around the toilet. It was a dirty job. And smelled horrific. And while the floor wasn’t beaming white in the end, it was no longer tawny brown either.
And the best part? When the plumbers came out last week, they confirmed it wasn’t pee after all. THE TOILET HAD BEEN INTERNALLY LEAKING. We caught it just in the nick of time.
Of course the new toilet does not solve the boys’ issues of poor aim and lack of concentration when standing to pee, so Dave has conducted two sessions of “How to Pee in our New Potty.” The boys are awarded one jelly bean if they lift the lid, hit the mark, wipe up any pee that doesn’t make it in the toilet, and prove hands are washed with sniff test. Yes, the jelly beans go against Eating Clean. But we constantly have to pick our battles in life.
So, perhaps one day people will come to my blog for helpful tips on Cleaning a Dirty House – or more like, How to Make a Dirty House Less Dirty. I did just offer you my secret power to nicely steamed clothes, chairs, and flooring. Until then, I’ll call this progress. One jelly bean at a time.
Happy Spring Cleaning, everyone!